 |
|
Dear Microbreweries,
Posted on: February 1, 2022 at 16:25:50 CT
CulturedDan KC
Posts:
85356
Member For:
13.90 yrs
Level:
User
M.O.B. Votes:
0
That's enough pastry stouts.
I know. The cool breweries are showing lines of Whalez Bros camping out up to buy packs of their bourbon anglaise-filled éclair stout aged in rum barrels dredged from a pirate ship wreck off the shore of Barbados - but that doesn't mean you have to dump candy in a fermenter to keep up.
We've had enough pastry stouts. They aren't that good. Every possible flavor or type of doughnut has been dumped into a ****ty stout ten times over. Every type of cake has had a pastry stout made from it. Every cookie has a pastry stout now. The fact that you're scrolling through Ecuadoran Instagram pages to find some sort of dessert that hasn't been made into a stout should tell you that it's been over done.
Pastry stouts are not very good. They're overly thick. They are saccharin sweet without any complexity. Congrats on discovering that lactose is a non-fermentable sugar. Please stop dumping it in every stout you attempt to make. Pastry stouts are not refreshing in any way. You make them so thick that they lose their carbonation. Now I'm drinking sweet chocolate water. Is this what you wanted?
**** your pastry stouts. Do something else. Maybe make, I don't know, a normal beer. Remember those? "But, Dan, what are we going to do with all these buckets of lactose?" I don't know, just stop dumping them in stouts. Wait - stop. I see you looking at that kettle-soured cherry gose. No. Don't do it. You can't just make a cherry cheescake sour by dumping lactose in it. Ah dammit.
I know. The cool breweries are showing lines of Whalez Bros camping out up to buy packs of their bourbon anglaise-filled éclair stout aged in rum barrels dredged from a pirate ship wreck off the shore of Barbados - but that doesn't mean you have to dump candy in a fermenter to keep up.
We've had enough pastry stouts. They aren't that good. Every possible flavor or type of doughnut has been dumped into a ****ty stout ten times over. Every type of cake has had a pastry stout made from it. Every cookie has a pastry stout now. The fact that you're scrolling through Ecuadoran Instagram pages to find some sort of dessert that hasn't been made into a stout should tell you that it's been over done.
Pastry stouts are not very good. They're overly thick. They are saccharin sweet without any complexity. Congrats on discovering that lactose is a non-fermentable sugar. Please stop dumping it in every stout you attempt to make. Pastry stouts are not refreshing in any way. You make them so thick that they lose their carbonation. Now I'm drinking sweet chocolate water. Is this what you wanted?
**** your pastry stouts. Do something else. Maybe make, I don't know, a normal beer. Remember those? "But, Dan, what are we going to do with all these buckets of lactose?" I don't know, just stop dumping them in stouts. Wait - stop. I see you looking at that kettle-soured cherry gose. No. Don't do it. You can't just make a cherry cheescake sour by dumping lactose in it. Ah dammit.
Please explain why this message is being reported.
MESSAGE THREAD
Dear Microbreweries, - dangertim MU
- 2/1 16:25:50