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We were playing football one day

Posted on: July 11, 2018 at 11:16:24 CT
TheShoe STL
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And the lot next to field we were playing on had some construction going on. Kid ran to catch a ball, jumped and made a great catch but landed on a piece of rebar sticking out of the ground. Ripped his sack wide open and his little nuts were just hanging the **** out like eyeballs.
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Bought my kid a Nintendo Switch, was on sale for $225 - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:02:50
     Where did you get it? We were going to get our son one for - bactgr MU - 7/11 11:28:16
     manufacture some chore or something he has to do - MizzouAstro MU - 7/11 11:21:55
          That is what we are doing. Chores, doing what he is told - bactgr MU - 7/11 11:31:36
          then smash it in front of him anyway. - colonel angus beef KC - 7/11 11:30:34
               then pee on it in front of him so he sees you're the one - cnk ATL - 7/11 11:45:33
     Prime Day.(nm) - tgr MU - 7/11 11:06:18
     Um, dude - Eggs MU - 7/11 11:05:27
          "how come all my games are already 100% complete" - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:06:20
               Delete data - Eggs MU - 7/11 11:08:15
                    or, best idea ever because everythings already unlocked(nm) - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:09:03
                         "Joeboojr I spent 136 hours unlocking these games for you - Cosmo MU - 7/11 11:12:16
                              By 'games' I mean these with a rating that I won't - FIJItiger MU - 7/11 11:15:34
                              "I did this for you, I'll go to the ends of the earth for - Eggs MU - 7/11 11:13:12
                                   "But on second thought, don't play on my account. I can't - mizzou541 MU - 7/11 11:15:20
                                        "You're not going to get that esports scholarship riding - Cosmo MU - 7/11 11:19:14
                                             seriously though - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:20:49
                                                  The world has gone insane (nm) - Cosmo MU - 7/11 11:21:18
                                                       over 50 people with career earnings of $1million + - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:21:53
                                        "Just remember kid, it's the thought that counts"(nm) - Eggs MU - 7/11 11:16:29
                                             when playing online, when in doubt, just say - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:19:58
                                                  If you say that to him, it's true!(nm) - cnk ATL - 7/11 11:24:25
                                                       co-op gaming can get intense(nm) - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:25:13
     Don't do it. Kids who get fancy gifts for no reason turn - tigersknowbest MU - 7/11 11:04:42
          my dad bought me the GI Joe Aircraft Carrier one summer - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:05:43
               and look at what a tvvat you turned out to be(nm) - MizzouAstro MU - 7/11 11:21:07
                    tough, but fair(nm) - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:24:31
                    RE: and look at what a tvvat you turned out to be(nm) - Cosmo MU - 7/11 11:22:24
               I got that for christmas and still have it - Cosmo MU - 7/11 11:20:45
                    I only ever had COBRA airplanes - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:23:09
                         Your entire worldview was built on lies Joeboo - Cosmo MU - 7/11 11:25:03
               Damn that is cool, I still want that thing lol(nm) - MidMoBaller4Life MU - 7/11 11:13:40
                    oops (nm) - lqf2b8 MU - 7/11 11:15:51
                    It was bigger than my bed - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:14:26
          You know this how?(nm) - TheShoe STL - 7/11 11:05:29
               I mean, I knew like 3 rich people growing up(nm) - tigersknowbest MU - 7/11 11:07:40
     How old is the kid? Make him work around the house for - LimerNick MU - 7/11 11:04:42
     Happy You Didn't Completely Ruin Your Mom's Vagina Day!(nm) - cnk ATL - 7/11 11:04:29
          Happy "no more $750 a month for preschool" day - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:07:52
               "except during summer" (nm) - lqf2b8 MU - 7/11 11:15:13
                    2 grandmas within 5 miles of us. Just gotta keep em upright - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:16:53
               lol, **** yes(nm) - cnk ATL - 7/11 11:10:00
     does he start kindergarten this year and can you wait - lqf2b8 MU - 7/11 11:03:50
          he does, thats right about a month away, Aug 15th(nm) - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:04:17
               lqf2b8 will be 36 that day too(nm) - lqf2b8 MU - 7/11 11:04:42
                    If you were a woman, you'd be too old for me(nm) - cnk ATL - 7/11 11:05:42
                         but 36 dudes are still okay in your book? - lqf2b8 MU - 7/11 11:06:24
                              BOAISY(nm) - cnk ATL - 7/11 11:07:24
                              that's a lot of dudes(nm) - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:07:11
                                   and 72 balls(nm) - TheShoe STL - 7/11 11:07:53
                                        assuming no polyorchidism nor monochidism (nm) - lqf2b8 MU - 7/11 11:09:31
                                             We were playing football one day - TheShoe STL - 7/11 11:16:24
                                                  a cousin of mine was playing on a trampoline back in the day - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:18:36
                                                  I would have vomited if I saw that (nm) - lqf2b8 MU - 7/11 11:18:25
                                                       there was vomiting(nm) - TheShoe STL - 7/11 11:20:29
                                                            "I just puked in my sack"(nm) - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:27:11
                                                  horrifying(nm) - cnk ATL - 7/11 11:17:49
                                                       You should have heard him screaming - TheShoe STL - 7/11 11:19:53
                                                            an eyeball dangling level sac rippage would have probably - lqf2b8 MU - 7/11 11:22:22
                                                                 He was doomed from birth - TheShoe STL - 7/11 11:30:45
                                             unless they occur in offsetting ratios (nm) - lqf2b8 MU - 7/11 11:10:56
                                             the average human has less than 1 ball(nm) - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:10:11
                                             obvioulsy(nm) - cnk ATL - 7/11 11:10:07
                    old balls(nm) - Joeboo MU - 7/11 11:05:06
                         I'll say - lqf2b8 MU - 7/11 11:05:40




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