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Announcing my DADGUM general manager candidacy
Posted on: May 9, 2025 at 18:18:36 CT
Mothball MU
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10.07 yrs
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I believe I am the perfect candidate for the general manager position of the Missouri Tigers football team. Here are just a few reasons:
1. I have a G.E.D.
2. I don't have a job so I am free to start immediately. I just need someone from the Department of Mechanical Engineering to come down here to Shady Lane and fix the alternator on truck because it is ON THE GOLL DURN FRITZ AGAIN!!!!!!!!11
3. No one understands DADGUM STARS!!!!!11 or GOLL DURN STARS!!!111 SCIENCE the way I do except for the STARS!!!!!11 SCIENTISTS who were last seen voting in the Vatican conclave.
4. I have a theory of general management. That theory consists of three bedrock principles:
a. GET THE GOLL DURN STARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
b. FIND YOUNGSTERS WITH PERFECT DADGUM ORIFICES INCLUDING PERFECTLY ROUND SPHINCTERS!!!!!!!!111
c. SEAL THE GOLL DURN BORDERS WITH A SPECIAL EMPHASIS ON NEOSHO AND DADGUM VAN-FAR!!!!!!!!!!111
Thank you.
1. I have a G.E.D.
2. I don't have a job so I am free to start immediately. I just need someone from the Department of Mechanical Engineering to come down here to Shady Lane and fix the alternator on truck because it is ON THE GOLL DURN FRITZ AGAIN!!!!!!!!11
3. No one understands DADGUM STARS!!!!!11 or GOLL DURN STARS!!!111 SCIENCE the way I do except for the STARS!!!!!11 SCIENTISTS who were last seen voting in the Vatican conclave.
4. I have a theory of general management. That theory consists of three bedrock principles:
a. GET THE GOLL DURN STARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
b. FIND YOUNGSTERS WITH PERFECT DADGUM ORIFICES INCLUDING PERFECTLY ROUND SPHINCTERS!!!!!!!!111
c. SEAL THE GOLL DURN BORDERS WITH A SPECIAL EMPHASIS ON NEOSHO AND DADGUM VAN-FAR!!!!!!!!!!111
Thank you.
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Announcing my DADGUM general manager candidacy - Mothball MU - 5/9 18:18:36