partner with them to go to the big 10 as a package deal and help them write a nice letter on co-branded letterhead and then send it to the big 10 for them.
https://m.imgur.com/LDqdHiQ
And then when they call and are all like "what happened?" Choi tells them to eat a bag of dick's and starts chanting "S E C - S E C - S E C!!!!".